Factors that Make up my World

                One time at our bed room Flora my mother was busy organizing my clean clothes and me playing with my toys when I suddenly broke up the silence by raising a question “Ma… Who are my parents?” I couldn’t really figure out on how in the world I was able to formulate a complicated question like that, as young as 3 or 5 years old a child should not start to talk and question that way face to face with somebody who is from the very start had become my bodily incubator when my formation was still at a cycle and had fostered me with so much love and care during my first steps of breathe in this world. She had stopped what she was doing before she faced me and we start to have the eye contact, fortunately I didn’t see any signs of anger or disappointment in it before she start to ask in a very soft and gentle voice “Where did you get the idea?” for about seconds of silence she had made another word when she knew that I wouldn’t be able to make even a single thought to come out “I see…” I don’t really get what she mean about that; was she able to read what I’m thinking and realized that I don’t have any basis for the question or she was expecting that I was only influenced by what I see in television, hear outside or something else that I could had been possibly be affected. She knew I was confused when she saw those tiny wrinkles in my forehead, so she asked a very basic question still maintaining the quality of her voice “Is there anyone else who are known to be your parents?” I just rolled my lower lips to remark my answer was negative and I instantly returned my focus on playing my toys ending up the topic instantly.

In the year 1997 there came an Asian Crisis, it had negatively affect the economical status of most countries that are part of the continent including the Philippines that had caused many companies to layoff employees and some to be bankrupt because other companies had avoided lending some of their shares to those who are part of the epidemic crisis. Our family had felt it; my mom had just received her early retirement and my dad had his last payment for his job cause the mall where his working with was bankrupt due for the reason. Though they want to have another job they can’t because both of them are college undergraduate. We still have our savings in the bank but that is not enough to hold our stay in the city so we decided to just migrate in Mindanao where my father owns a small piece of land that produces copra every 3 months though the income is not that big as had been expected at least it will give us the hope that our pockets will not get empty. We lived in Davao City for 1 year before we fully transfer to a province at Davao Oriental where we’ve made our permanent residence.

The life in the province is very different from the life in the city; no malls, no bars, very silent, people are civilized but not that much for there are still the remarks of influences from ancestors who believed in folklore and beliefs like witch crafts, fairies and other else. The first days of my stay were a bit harder, as much harder when I became the topic of rumors to some people living there. I thought the issue of adoption was only an idea of my past when I was about 3 or 5 years old a topic from nothingness or either scenes that we only see in televisions or somewhere else, but when I start to hear it from others connecting me to the topic it had caused a little fear of “What ifs” to arise, but then I made myself convinced that it was only a rumor from people who were not really part of the family and I shouldn’t listen to what they say cause their only people who are nothing to deal with. One early morning I ate my breakfast together with my mom and dad, when we were in the middle of the meal Danny my dad had started to talk “Er…(My nickname) if you are to encounter Sally and Arnold anywhere or have a talk with them, call them the same way as you have been calling us” I was shocked to what I’ve heard, I knew that Sally was my fathers younger sister and Arnold is her husband and to hear those sentence coming from my dad was very unusual to me so I responded instantly “Why should I? Their not my mom and dad” dad had uttered “Even though… You can still treat them the way you treat us” before everything else burns I start to pack up my things and say in instance “That doesn’t make the idea clear” and had my way to school. I couldn’t clearly hear what they had in response but I only had my rush way heading to school very confused and hurt to what the idea had brought me about, to realized that the thought of the rumors I hear from people and the idea of that talk during the meal were just pointing to only one idea that I always hate to think was for real. I still made myself believe that it’s only just a fiction to make my living still the same as if nothing it had happen to cause me and my life goes on the same until I reach the last year of my elementary years. About a few months I’m going to graduate in elementary and all of us are very busy in fixing many stuffs till one of my classmates got so bored and made the step to begin scanning the records of our teacher who was at that time is in the other classroom negotiating for some important things that needs to be negotiated in connection to the upcoming graduation rites. My classmates had started to call the attention of that pupil saying that it wasn’t really a good idea and she replied “It won’t be if we only remain silent”. With all curiosity I myself got also tempt to approach the table with her and take a share scanning it, I try to read it carefully and had find out that it was a book of biography for each Grade 6 pupil in our section. I kept turning each page to search for my name and it didn’t fail I found my name written on top of those plenty of sentences which in assurance was all about me, I try to take span of the all the sentence and words till one sentence had stroked my attention “… he was an adopted child of …” I became absent minded for about seconds I lost the presence of my mind that should allow me to be aware of the surroundings, till one of my classmates had decide to push me that awaken me like being from a deep sleep setting me a warning that our teacher is coming and had to fix those things like nothing had happened. Yes nothing had happened that for about a single moment I felt like a bomb in my chest was about to burst, I don’t have to finish the whole written story in that short biography to puzzle out who was being identified by that single word that had quoted my mind “Adopted”. Rumors from people who had been able to interference with my personal life are not the once of whom caused the pain that had sprout within me, neither the topic that had been opened during our breakfast or either the sentence I had read and discovered from my teachers’ biographical book but the wholeness that connects each ideas that made me realized the truth. I got hurt, confused and frustrated with what may come up next but I have to endure the pain if I don’t want to make my life busted all along the process.

The confirmation of the truth was truly painful and it was not even an easy way to accept it, but one thing I have realized is how it took me. The love, the care and support that my second parents had given me are definitely a great gift and blessings that I had treasured all those years I’ve spent my life with them. I could not change the fact that I’m an Adopted Child but being one is not a curse instead it’s an extraordinary experience, not because I’ve been to so many painful ways and process but it’s despite of that truth that had been with me all throughout my life that I was still able acquire the love, the care and the support that is much more than what I should be expecting. And all throughout the experience I have realized the true meaning of becoming a son is not just by being called by the title but having to felt it as well is much more important.